Last Call 

I wanted more than you were willing to offer

You’ve proven my fears to be correct 

I can only thank you for your honesty even though my pride was the payment 

I shed tears that night…our last call 

I was angry for allowing myself to be vulnerable again- open to someone who had no intentions of loving me 

One day I won’t be a thought. The moments we shared will disappear from your memory with time and separation.

Finalizing the end of it all 

An Ode to You – 3/10/17

Maybe over time you’ll remove the fear guarding your chest cavity then I can prove how deep my love could penetrate the confines of your heart. 

It’s sad that I’m realizing no matter what I give, I’m still no competition for time. No comparison to the past. In your eyes, I can’t measure up to it. 

With my love, I could fill the voids. Respect your sanctuary, your sanctity your mind.

You’ve written letters to the one you thought you would spend eternity with, conversation whispered at night, empty words combined with intentionally unkept promises.

Let me show you something different. Let me give you peace and comfort. Let me give you commitment and confidence. 

To be vulnerable is a gift, to love is to sacrifice and that’s all I want you to experience…

Sincerely Yours,
 

Grandmother Taught Me

My grandmother taught me to be resilient 

To square my shoulders in the face of adversity 

To be a pistol, provider, partner

My grandmother taught me to dismiss pain 

So I stood continuously in a dark space, beating my heart until it was silent 

Daring it to speak a word

It was black and blue until it turned into stone and I’d rather feel it harden underneath my skin then to feel any weakness within

I transformed into her projection, a strong woman with wit to match, broken on the inside with shame attached to my soul

Words unspoken, too invested in saving face

This pain is heavy but the responsibility of being a strong black woman is heavier 

Questions and Answers 

Questions 

You ask yourself…

Why do I continue to repeat the lesson? 

Laying in my bed, restless 

Enduring the never ending cycle of lovers gained and lost

Picking yourself apart at the seams, attempting to hold on to something, anything 

The truth is you’ve never believed you deserved much more than nothing so you continue to repeat the lesson

Life is the teacher, reprimanding you for denying self love and exalting pain

Answers 

Chose yourself today

Chose to exhibit self love, forgiveness

Letting go of the shamefulness that caused you to believe the lies. Letting go of the guilt of holding on too long to potential 

Accept your truth – You are a  divine sister, gifted to love, gifted to heal 

Avenge the days lost by making a conscientious decision to love yourself

It’s time to mend the brokenness. It’s time to receive the love you deserve